Who is the angel Bariel? : Part2

 

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There is little literature on this angel. Mostly mentioned in ritual texts. Besides the pentacle, I feel Bariel has some sort of connection with the Egyptian god, Khonsu. Until I can find the academic evidence to support this, it will remain a theory. He defiantly has lunar qualities and is associated with a few mansions of the moon, especially the 9th as Raubel. In this aspect, he is diseased, malevolent, and possibly fatal.

I am aware of the Hebrew/Egyptian god name IAH having lunar associations to the adult aspect of Khonsu. As you can see in the photo above, I think the image of the Egyptian royal staff/tree of life is what is reflected as the crescent image on the pentacle. The angel Bariel is equated with archangel Barachiel (“God’s blessings”). Besides white roses, baskets of fish or bread as his symbols, he is sometimes picture with the “staff of life”.

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I have found in my research that at some point he was considered a fallen angel or a Malakim; one of seven electors of Hell. Possibly a dualistic persona. Before that, he was a ruler of the order of Seraphim, choir of archangels and virtues. In the Book of Raziel, he is listed (besides Thursday and Jupiter hours) as an angel of Wednesday and Saturday, is the angel of the eleventh hour of the day and is a Prince ( Sarim in the 3rd heaven) with a few legions under his command (496,000 angels).

Bariel is the angel of February and October; Scorpio and Pisces. He is according the various texts, an angel for good fortune, wealth, wisdom, marriage, troubled relationships, children, fertility, knowledge, occult knowledge, writing, calculation, gambling, protection, exorcisms, laughter and optimism. In the 3rd book of Enoch, he is called the angel of hail under the name Baradiel and the angel of lighting as the angel Baraquiel. He teaches astrology and definitely seems to fancy human women.

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There are so many various names and properties…we can go ad nauseam, but I think you get the idea. I still find it interesting and very fortuitous that not only we were able to do the Jupiter operation, but at the right astrological timing with most of the equipment required in such little span of time. And to have everyone at once as a group was definitely quite a feat.

Side note: I’m really flattered that Magister Omega posted a mention on his blog about my Jupiter spiritbox and thought I share.

June 25, 2015   2 Comments


 

Who is the angel Bariel? : Part 1

 

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As you already know, during the GKoS Jupiter operation, we tried to summon one of the angels ruling the fourth pentacle of Jupiter. We wanted him to appear in full physical manifestation that everyone could behold, not just the scryer. The interesting thing about that experiment, I have discovered is that two years later, the only one the angel appeared to visually was Bee.

I am assuming (at this time) it is because in her natal chart, her Jupiter is really exalted; she would already have that connection with him (and any other planetary spirits associated with Jupiter for that matter). According to her accounts, he was very handsome but slightly feminine (no facial hair/pretty boy). He had black hair, curly and looked mediterranean (dark complexion). Blue set eyes. Smiled a lot when speaking to her.

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My personal relationship with the spirit has been very distant or indirect. Instead of visual, I get auditory explanations, streak upon streak of epiphanies or mental images. I do believe though if it wasn’t for the help of this spirit, I don’t think I would be able to devour or digest the amount of occult knowledge on astrology, grimoiric texts, and other scholarly books on the subject let alone gain access to vast libraries as I have thus far.

I feel it’s become now intuitive. I find certain sigils of spirits are making more sense to me or standing out graphically their true nature/meanings. One night, I was sleepily glossing over latin texts and I found myself understanding it as though it was english. Wasn’t until I finished the page I was like, “um okay…weird…bed now.” I also sense a deep and dark undercurrent of the sensual or sexual with this angel but always dangerous. It’s attractive like the way electricity is. It will pull you but it will also kill you.

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In Picatrix, (Book Four, Chapter Nine) says that the talisman of Al-Tarf is, “for [causing] infirmity. When the Moon has passed into this Mansion, make a lead image of a eunuch holding his hands over his eyes, on his neck inscribe the name of the Lord of the Mansion. Suffumigate [the image] with pine resin and say: ‘You, Raubel, make N son of N die of sickness or N son of N’s blood to flow.’ Ask for which one of these two that you wish, it will be completed if you follow the right path as we have explained above.”

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I find the image of the eunuch interesting especially since Bariel is associated with fish. I am wondering if there are any possible connections with the mermaid goddess Atargatis since her early cults required her priests to be castrated. Baal Hadad is generally her depicted consort (which would fit since he was a lightning wielding storm god).

Baal Hadad is equated with Zeus/Jupiter and in the Lotan story cycle is hinted at “being less” after the major battle. His father Dagon (in certain myths) is associated with fish (Pisces) and his mother, the goddess Ishara, whose astrological embodiment is Scorpio. She is the mother of the Sebitti ( seven stars a.k.a. the Pleiades).

June 25, 2015   No Comments


 

GKoS Jupiter Operation : Part 1

 

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This particular experiment took a few years to prepare for. The date of the operation took place on 12/12/13. Gathering the ritual tools and fashioning others. Learning the prayers and practicing the simple banishings. Creating the lamens/pentacles and waiting for the appointed astrological times to cast them. Obviously for the parts in the text where they ask for a “virgin to do X or Y ” we substituted as best we could but keeping true to the grimoires. Hell! At one point we painted henna on our skin, feet or used fabric markers on our white clothes. So we didn’t allow things to hinder us the slightest. We used canvas linen and black acrylic paint to create our rug/circle of protection.

These particular pentacles needed to be created during Jupiter’s exaltation in Cancer. If you are wondering how we did the consecration or creation of the pentacles, check out this video here.

I wanted to do it right and not attract any astral garbage for anyone involved. The pages you see are notes taken before the operation. I’ll have them scattered for your viewing pleasure. I won’t go into the “how-to’s” since there’s so much literature on the subject of summoning and such already.

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The people involved for this particular operation were myself, my mother, and two other female adepts. I was summoner; mother was on incense, candles, etc. watch; Bee was our scribe and Kay was our scryer. I was curious to see this kind of operation with an all female cast; if being a woman or menstrual cycles effected this type of magick in anyway. I’m glad to report that it does not in the slightest (although it should be noted majority of us were on the finishing end of our cycles and following the Solomonic prescription for cleanliness).

We discovered from the angels that the only thing they found taboo with us was having the tops of our heads exposed. They refused to proceed with the ritual unless our heads were covered. Adhering to purity rites and cleanliness though is another matter I learned. Being “clean” meant not just physically but mentally and emotionally. That you’re aligning with their vibration. They can come down but only a certain point because our world is “gross” (I don’t think they meant disgusting but the archaic meaning for material world and “base”). So these levels of preparation in conjunction with meditation/prayer were crucial to get into the headset or right frame of mind.

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After doing the usual banishing and setting up the circle with prayers, I started drawing over the sigils with the sword on the floor. Incense was lit up, as was candles on four corners and for the scryer’s crystal ball. Once preliminaries were dealt with, I then proceeded with the “calls” or conjurations. I think it took two full calls in order to get things rolling. Everyone up to this point had notice a difference in atmospheric change including myself. Air got heavy, everything was dark and quiet (we live in NYC so that is an accomplishment in my eyes). Definitely a sense of floating on space and the rest of the mundane world falling away. Everyone was feeling this and on the same page.

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Now from this point on I can only speculate. Everyone in the group except for myself experienced some sort of phenomenon. I assumed because I was designated summoner, that the role requires the person be cool-headed, together and be able without hesitation to shut the operation in proper fashion without being spooked. I maybe wrong. It could be because I’m the only married woman in the circle, although I don’t think is the case because surely married men, such as Edward Kelly, never had a problem.

Or like John Dee, I was analyzing everything that was happening and not in the moment.

June 22, 2015   No Comments


 

GKoS Jupiter Operation : Part 2

 

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There is notations of everyone at some point experiencing astral smells, being touched, hearing music and signing, voices or whispers. Fish and something rotting (death?) were prominent. Floral smells such a roses and lavender were present as well. Kay in the scryer seat expressed ecstasy and happiness from the spirits. She describe what she saw in the crystal. Mostly she was shown (kingly or queenly) figures or people dressed in certain ways and announcing who was in the room with us. Again, I did the third conjuration besides the confessions.

{I should note that everyone at this point including myself was in some kind of sitting position. Usually for this experiment, you want to be standing but everyone (including my mother) complained. She at some point went outside the circle to grab a chair. Makes me glad I make the circle outside the house besides the inner chamber one. We were doing this now for a good 2-4hours with little to no break. When we did break, everyone was ravenous and ran for the restroom or kitchen.}

I called for the angel Bariel to come forth. I do believe Tzadkiel was present based on the notes/descriptions taken that night. Everyone at one point said I had small children dressed in blue surround me and were touching me. Again I stand by my earlier statement. I experienced nothing but the initial circle rites. Everyone agreed that our lamens were glowing bright blue. I sorta saw this but dismissed it as sensory depravation. I proceeded to ask questions to the spirits and for an oracle that could be measured at a later date. This way, we can indeed say we were in contact with something and wasn’t “mass hysteria” induced.

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We tried really hard on this operation to get a physical manifestation. I will attempt again at a later date. The main message that we received from the angels of Jupiter that night was, “Don’t worry. Do not be afraid. Be joyful. You are not alone. We are with you. We accept your requests. We love you and your sincerity.” As we we about to close, I read the last conjurations which were really dubbed by the group as “harsh”. Bee started to scream. She claimed she was being attacked. Kay and mom begged me to stop.

The spirits apparently were crying out for me to stop. According to Bee, that conjuration isn’t meant for them and is too “harsh” for the likes of them. I wasn’t buying it because the way I saw it at that point in time, the one entity we were trying to summon had not shown up, I felt I was given the run around, and everyone was acting up because they were tired or hungry. I was going to close with a sharp and clean departure because I didn’t want to hear from anyone in the group that some nonsense was still bothering them months later.

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To this day, I can firmly say that 80% of the things we asked for on our lists have been accomplished. The two adepts eventually got married and had tremendous life altering experiences that followed. I am slowly seeing the fruit of my labors. My mother is a different story (she’s a curmudgeon) so I won’t mention her list.

 

June 22, 2015   No Comments


 

(The Creation of “Song of Songs” ) Magical Passover 2015? : Part 2

 

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I’m still not quite sure what happened exactly. Maybe it was the isolation and having no outside distractions. It could have been me adhering to Solomonic purity rites at the time, in conjunction with general prayer / meditation (that I usually do when I’m gearing up for a ritual operation). I even read (instinctively and not really knowing any better) “Song of Songs” under the Solomon painting “for fun” during passover week. I was also working intensively on the painting almost nonstop, trying to get it finished as fast as I could.

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So I could have been in a really good mindset / really open 3rd eye… Or I’m just a crazy person.

 

I noticed a lot of mysterious things during last Passover week. The ones that stick out the most were when my husband was present. I was sick somewhat during that time. I had a throat infection and was taking antibiotics. I was worried I would get worse rather than better. I remember my husband coming home one evening and we were talking in the kitchen.

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I was cleaning my boveda (altar) at the time, so the bible was on the countertop amongst other things, opened to “Song of Songs”. As my husband continued to talk, I saw a blue light emanating from his mouth that turned on and off as he spoke. It was like he had a mini light bulb in his mouth. He caught me staring and I told him why. I apologized and we continued our conversation.

On the night of Passover itself, we decided to go see a movie and have dinner. My phone was ringing off the hook that night. As I got off the phone, I noticed something weird on my husband’s forehead. It looked like shadows at first then like something that was drawn across with charcoal. I told him to wipe his forehead at first thinking he touched something.

 

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Here is my drawing of what I saw.

 

It was when it started to pulse a neon yellow glow that it really caught my attention. I couldn’t tell if it was Arabic or not but it didn’t look Hebrew to me. I took a pen and paper and proceeded to draw the symbols down. Then just as suddenly as it had appeared, it vanished. It was there just long enough for me to draw it.

This happened just before midnight. I did not see this on anyone else in the room around us. Matter of fact, the restaurant got “dark.” Magicians who do ritual work will know what I mean by that. It’s a feeling you get once you enter a magic circle. You do your banishing, then your calls, etc. then you enter into this floating dark “space” where the outside world falls away. It becomes really quiet and the air becomes heavy.

 

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Afterwards I attempted to look up the meaning of the symbols, but didn’t have much luck. The closest equivalent I could find was ancient Arabic or Hebrew letters. It put me in mind of the old tales of the Golem, where the words for “Life” and “Death” were inscribed on its head to bring the golem to life.

Maybe we all have something similar on our heads that we usually can’t see or unaware of? It scared me and I wondered if there was any real significance for me seeing this. My husband is Jewish, if that means anything. I’m wondering why Arabic (if it is) and not Hebrew?

What do you think? Am I on to something or just dismiss it? Post your comments below.

June 15, 2015   No Comments


 

The Creation of “Song of Songs” : Part 1

 

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This particular piece has been literally years in the making. I think some time in 2010, I purchase this huge canvas for $80 at a Pearl Paint outlet store in Long Island. It was going out of business, so when I saw the 40-50% off everything, I took advantage of it. I didn’t care how long it took us with blinkers on our car to drive home. I strapped that fucker onto the roof. When we removed it, we realized it had a small tear.

During that year, I went and got canvas linen, archival glue, and canvas stretching spray to fix the tear. You can’t even see it on the final piece now that’s completely painted and finished unless you look for it. Storage for this particular piece has been hell, let alone trying to find a shipper that will be responsible for it. I have gotten in fights with my husband and my own mother over where to put it.

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This painting has seen me go through a lot. It moved in with me into my first new home. It has seen both my miscarriages. It has hosted numerous private parties both with friends and family. It has seen fights between me and my husband. It has seen me host classes in magick and art. I have made love and meditated under it. It knows all my secrets and of those who came to visit. I have prayed next to it and cried. It has seen both my ugly and my beautiful side. It has even now traveled with me across the coast to Atlanta. It has seen me grow and blossom in my art career.

On Friday, I felt as though I said good bye to an old friend. The shippers came, packed it and carted it off without much pomp and circumstance. I signed it off and that was that. I felt drained. Besides this painting, I had just finished 7 more pieces during the last 3-4 months. I still feel like I’m nowhere near complete for a solo show.

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I still have no idea what possessed me to create such a huge piece. I think it was the challenge that was the most likely culprit. I couldn’t let the opportunity provided by this giant canvas pass me by. After spending forever agonizing about what to paint, I was inspired to depict a subject very near and dear to me, the embodiment of wisdom (Solomon) merging with mystery or knowledge (Makeda / Bilkis). One of my favorite occult movies is Aronofsky’s “The Fountain” which explain this idea very well.

If you’re one of those people that think it’s another chic flick, then you have missed the entire message of the movie, my friend. I won’t get into why it’s such a great occult classic (Aronofsky’s Pi is another good film that shouldn’t be missed). I’ll let this guy explain it here.

June 14, 2015   No Comments


 

The Afterglow : Part 4

 

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It’s been a week now that I’ve realized some idea of what my final self-portrait I think should be like. Already I have a wide range of comments, responses and feedback. Mostly positive, which surprises me because I really thought the worst. The amount of love shown by friends and fans is touching and overwhelming to me. Certain friends and family members did freak out but I am happy overall with myself regardless… and that’s what really matters in the end.

I am sadden that they continue to try to slut shame me but I will not budge. I found it hilarious that those same people that slut shamed me were visited by karma in the same week and got a dose of their own medicine. I’m proud of the work I am doing and finally feel I am confident with myself. For once I feel beautiful and content with myself. I still have a hard time looking in the mirror but I linger longer taking note of my features. I didn’t notice before I had a widow’s peak, a cleft chin or my ears were pointed. I hated the curves on my body.

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I love my legs and how they look in stockings and garters. I think I’ll be more experimental and risky with my wardrobe then I was before. I think a pair of “fuck-me-pumps” are in order. As I put brush to canvas, I notice my curves are exquisite to draw and behold. I thought my breasts were oddly shaped, colored and small. I was considering surgery at one point.

I see now I’m quite voluptuous and fill out quite nicely despite being slightly over weight. I really put in my mind that I was this hideous monster that needed layers of clothes to cover up every inch. I’m thinking right now how many women are going through this unhealthy process that is put upon them to conform to what society wants of them. I just want you to know, dear reader, you are not alone in this battle. You are beautiful and deserve more than you give yourself credit.

Screen Shot 2015-06-12 at 5.48.59 AMBe strong, bold and don’t be afraid to speak your mind or what you believe in. Like my mother says, “You only take three things to the grave: what you saw, what you ate and what you fucked.” So why worry about what others think about you? Their opinions don’t pay your bills. Now go make some controversy!

 

Below this page I want you to leave your comments. What are your hang ups and issues you are going through right now with body image? What subjects would you like me to touch on more?

June 12, 2015   2 Comments


 

To Wong Fu… : Part 3

 

I cried after it was over, slightly messing up my makeup. I couldn’t believe this was really me. I still felt stupid. I still felt all the old hang ups.

I still felt fat, ugly, etc. but… IT WAS OKAY.

I didn’t burst into flames. No “Fraud Police” showed up to read us our rights.

Nothing bad happened like I thought or felt should have.

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After the shoot, Anastasia ordered sushi in. Anastasia then found out that Phoenix from RuPaul’s Drag Race was in town at Burkhart’s Pub that same night. So all dressed up to the nines, we went and painted the town red.

We needed it.

We deserved it.

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I have never been to a gay bar. I was scared and uncomfortable. Once we were inside, we ordered drinks and watched the show from the sidelines. All the contestants dressed in drag were beautiful. Matter of fact everyone was dressed to impress yet I didn’t feel any … “pressure” to do or be anything. I felt relaxed. I felt accepted. We were complimented by everyone there. Everyone was friendly and sociable. We drank, danced, partied until the sun came up. All in high heels!

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I have never felt so comfortable in stockings and heels before that night. I know I must have sounded like a broken record saying this to Anastasia all night. I thought at one point I was going to die before I got home! Purchasing some pasties from a local sex shop, I tried them on when I got home.

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I played my ukulele for my friend. We played Beeri-o Kart (drinking game with Mario Kart on Wii-U) for awhile. We then passed out after consuming mass quantities of food and water so our hangovers don’t kill us upon waking. I didn’t want it to end. We learned a lot about each other and bonded in sisterhood. I learned a lot about myself. I am grateful for the self-discovery and the opportunity to share my world with her’s.

June 8, 2015   2 Comments


 

Exposing my fears for all to see (and trying not to care what others think) : Part 2

 

I needed photos of myself (mostly nude) since I’ll be doing my self-portrait soon. I dreaded this so much but it also excited me. This whole week pushed me far out of my comfort zone. I needed to feel the fear and face it. I needed to push my limits. I needed to evolove, to expand in seeking the unknown parts of myself and meet them. I wanted the rush. The adrenaline. To know I was still alive and wake.

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I only once focused on my fear. It was a few years ago during a solo ritual with the Goetia Spirit, Paimon. Once it was over, I felt not so much stupid but relieved that my fears were unmet and showed me how important the emotion (fear) was to allow me to gauge where my boundaries were within myself not just magically. Only when you cast off the safety nets and make the jump of faith, can you really soar.

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So here we are in my living room, serious in photographing ourselves but laughing. Laughing at the silliness of bearing our skin to each other, yet at the same time so scared and vulnerable. Anastasia felt conscious of her surgical scars on her body. I felt conscious of my weight, cellulite, acne, stretch marks, burns, scars… you name it. We compliment each other. I show her what I think is beautiful about her. She returns the favor. This is not erotica. This is not porn. This is adoration of the self.

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Our love shinning through this little insignificant lens capturing fleeting moments together.

June 8, 2015   No Comments


 

A Week of Immersive Self-discovery and Beauty : Part 1

 

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Last week, a dear friend of mine came and visited me here in Atlanta. She was on her way back to NYC for a gig. Anastasia Romanovskaya is a professional bellydancer, tarot reader and jeweler. She has traveled nationally and internationally doing shows, events and giving lectures on bellydancing. I absolutely adore her. Recently married, she hasn’t allowed life to slow her down in the slightest. She is passionate, ambitious and tenacious in pursuit of her career.

If you are interested, here are the links to her site and etsy store:

The Winged Serpent – BellyDancing Classes

The Naughty Victorians – Jewelry Etsy Store

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While she was here, we agreed to a week dedicated to the divine feminine. A total immersion into what makes us love being a woman. She taught me to bellydance. I taught her how to oil paint. We trained and exercise together. We cooked for one another. We played video games, did drinking games, and everything in between. We laughed, we shared each other’s pain and what we think is wrong with the world in general. We put on each other’s makeup, shared clothes and played dress up.

The bellydancing lessons were both enjoyable and addicting but also frustrating. A few times I just wanted to cry because I wanted to get everything, absorb it and perfect it quickly. I am not used to the feeling of being a “beginner”. The perfectionist in me screamed and stormed. I was completely uncomfortable, out of my skin … a fish out of water.

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We then did the unthinkable: taking photos of each other in our element…

 

June 8, 2015   2 Comments