Image art done by Ronnie Ritchie
So why should I paint pin-up or erotica now that I’m feeling this way?
Previously, I had a hate letter (I get a whole bunch but this one hit home) that said I degraded women and that I was objectifying them with my “pornographic” work. This despite the fact that many of my paintings are clearly labeled as belonging to a particular magical working, or as something that me and a model brainstormed together on or something similar. That is how the female body is generally viewed by people. As something to objectify. You can see topless woman on instagram but photos of your period or breastfeeding are taboo! They get banned or flagged down.
Here are links to a few articles I viewed recently about nudity, objectification and empowerment.
It seems to boil down to consent. I’ll let the articles explain for me on this front.
So why the selfies?
One male artist friend of mine said that selfies were the signs of narcissism or some junk. That it was being proven scientifically that the people who did it were “deranged” or “mentally unstable”. So what did I do? I listened and did nothing of the sort, thinking I was being normal or noble.
Another artist friend I used to hang with did exactly the opposite. She took amazing scenic photographs of herself that looked like something out of a noir film or horror movie. Everyone loved them. I figured, “of course you loved them…she’s beautiful.”
What I realize now is that I am beautiful too. I may not match up to the so-called “hollywood ideal” but that does not mean I am any less beautiful or worthy of love and adoration. No one can tell me different. I am going to start taking my power back. This is why I have begun experimenting and taking sexy photos of myself and am sharing them with you. I am not doing this for anyone’s pleasure but my own. Beauty is not about body type, it is about confidence and learning to love yourself. I am also beginning work on a NUDE self portrait. Soon I will be able to say I AM like the girls in my paintings, because I will be one of them.
I am scared shitless of the idea of painting myself nude. I will not hold anything back. I will not photoshop it. Every curve and bulge will be on display for everyone to see. Every scar, cellulite and stretch mark in full frontal glory. Some people will probably laugh at me, or call me disgusting or fat. But maybe that is why I should do it. I have started taking belly dancing lessons from Anastasia “Rose” Romanovskaya, a really good friend of mine. I am learning to play the ukulele all by myself. When I get back to NYC, I am planning to take up sword fighting again. I plan to write more, possibly a book on my magickal operations (more on that later). I also plan to blog more regularly. I plan to do burlesque not as a hobby but a lifestyle change. I want more for myself. I plan to be more for myself.
So why do I feel compelled to write all this? I am speaking from a place of deep seated anger, both at myself and the male gaze. In fact, watch out! I might just start painting a lot more sexy male nudes from now on. Let’s see how they like it! If you are a woman and have come this far, then on some level what I have just said has resonated with you. It is my hope that my post inspires you to get creative about your own personal empowerment and to take charge of your own life.
Lilith knows, I am trying my best everyday.
Love to all my darklings,
xoxoxo
-Mani the (Uncanny) Minx