Fickle Bitch NecroRomances

Friday, March 24th, 2017

 

I have been thinking… a lot. Mostly the kind that makes you go into a downward spiral of self doubt. Yet somehow I manage to pull my sorry ass out each time. It either involves family or friends to taking adventuresome risks to convince me. Art is always the greatest therapy. For a period of time I couldn’t write. I felt unworthy. Inadequate. Far from scholarly and had no base of credibility to stand on.

Why would anyone listen to me? A friend even told me, “oh you’re not a writer; you’re just an artist.” Listening or reading to everyone in the spiritual and occult community tear each other apart over this, that and the other drained me. I couldn’t take it anymore. So I left. I wanted to write but I felt blocked. I had so much to say but felt constipated with grief. Misha and Jake were supportive. Jake urged me to do it anyway and “not let the stuffed shirts” bother me.

A certain well known occult author came out with his book recently. When I read it, I cried. There was some personal information I had told him, rewritten to seem as if it was about him. How could someone I trusted use my origin story for their own (and more)? Born in thunder and rain? Fuck you! My mother told me that story. I was born during a Diana Ross concert (link here) on July 21, 1983 at 5:49pm EST. This was just another reason to disappear. Sulking like a teenager in her room listening to vinyls and staring at the ceiling isn’t an option when you’re a mom. Vincent’s (my son’s) love has been so delicious. I cannot conceive a world without him now.

So I did what Maddie and Jake told me. I submitted something to Hadean Press. I am excited to announce the painting “Typhon” will be gracing the inside cover of Conjure Codex Issue 3! Looking forward to receiving my copy of the issue. Issues I’m told are being shipped out as of March 23rd. I am currently working on an article for the Gold Codex coming out 2018-19. Already submitted related artwork. Fingers crossed!

I also did something slightly a bit out of my element. I event coordinated a drink & draw at the Lovecraft Bar NYC for the Death-versary of HPL. If it wasn’t for my friends, it would have been a total disaster. The blizzard threw everyone off and we had to reschedule everything. All in all, it was an amazing night. I am still editing the footage for promo and hope to use it to push a new wonderful artistic community here in NYC. Have so many ideas. Wish I could tell you. You’ll just have to wait!

 

 

 

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